Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
