Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
