I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
