I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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