I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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