Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
