were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
