You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
