Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
