So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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