Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
