What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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