After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Randomize
