She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
