I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
