Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
