Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
