I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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