Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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