he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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