Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
