i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
