I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
