i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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