I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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