It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
