I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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