well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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