yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
