i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
