So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
