So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
