do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
