Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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