I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
