No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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