I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
