yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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