so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
