Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
