i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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