..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
