tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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