I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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