i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
