I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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