I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So many bounce houses so little time
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
