At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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