THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
