k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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