Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
