still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
